A Gardener’s Valentine The Cabbage has a heart; Green Beans string you along. You’re such a ripe Tomato, Peas to me belong? You’ve been the Apple of my eye. You know how much I care, So Lettuce get together, we’d make a perfect Pear. See, something’s bound to Turnip soon, […]
Top Ten Landscaping Rules and Murphy’s Law 10. Your lawn is always slightly bigger than your desire to mow it. 9. Whichever garden tool you want is always at the back of the shed. 8. The only way to ensure rain, is to give the garden a good soaking. 7. […]
Nine Real Meanings of Plant Catalog Terminology: 9. “A favorite of birds” means to avoid planting near cars, sidewalks, or clotheslines. 8. “Grows more beautiful each year” means “Looks like roadkill for the foreseeable future.” 7. “Zone 5 with protection” is a variation on the phrase “Russian roulette,” and it’s likely gonna […]
10 Lessons About Life I Learned From Trees 10. It’s important to keep deep roots. 9. Late bloomers make the strongest most beautiful trees. 8. It pays to branch out. 7. Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. 6. Don’t pine away over old injuries. 5. Be flexible so […]
Top TEN Hilarious Jokes About Lawn and Garden Care 10. The Hard-working Chinese Worker. A hard working Chinese man comes to the landscaping company looking for work. The boss says “OK, you’re hired. You’re in charge of the supplies.” In his thick Chinese accent he replies, “The supplies? OK, I […]
Top 10 Signs You’ve Hired the WRONG Kid to Mow and Rake Your Yard! 10. You notice he’s awfully tall with an afternoon shadow for a twelve year old. 9. Compliment his gloves and he’ll tell you they’re the latest in “OJ chic.” 8. He confidently states, “I’ll be done in a […]
Top Five Gardening One Liners 5. My uncle was going to be a tree surgeon, but he faints at the sight of sap. 4. God made rainy days, so gardeners could get the housework done. 3. A toddler was found chewing on a slug. After the initial surge of disgust the parent said, “Well, […]
The Top Ten Gardening Riddles 10. Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They are difficult to get started, they emit foul smells, and they don’t work half the time. 9. What’s red and invisible? No tomatoes. 8. What is a Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone, with no dressing. 7. What can you […]
Ten Gardening Quotes From the Rich and Famous – Volume II 10. I left a packed of seeds in my pocket and my coat turned into a Chia jacket. – Seinfeld 9. “Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of […]
Ten Gardening Quotes From the Rich and Famous – Volume I 10. “Yup, gardening and laughing are two of the best things in life you can do to promote good health and a sense of well being.” – David Hobson (Australian Tenor) 9. If only I could grow green stuff in my garden […]